Being a mom is so universal and at the same time such an individual and personal experience. Getting support from others is great but it’s also so important to follow your gut and go with your own flow, because ultimately you know best and what is good for you and your family. Everyone will tell you a story and try to give you advice about their own believes, so it’s important to filter and do what YOU feel is right. At the same time it’s hard to do it alone and we all need that tribal support and a sisterhood of other mothers to lean on. I was lucky enough to join a mama group that was very diverse with lots of differences in parenting style. It is also a group of nonjudgment and respect for everyone’s differences, which is rare, but so important. So whether you belong to a group or not it’s still important to identify you’re own parenting style and get the best support you can. So here are five tips on what you can do:
1. Be kind to yourself and other moms.
Mama shaming is real!! Always think about that we all come from different backgrounds and with different experiences and we all want to be great parents doing an amazing job. So keep in mind how that experience might differ for everyone and don’t judge others. We all know how it feels to be judged. So treat others the way you want to be treated, because what works for you does not necessarily work for someone else.
2. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it!
Don’t fall for the peer pressure just because everyone else is doing it!! If it doesn’t feel right, just follow what works for you and what you believe in. Follow your instinct always!! You know best!
3. Find your mama tribe.
If possible, always try to surround yourself with likeminded moms as it makes it easier to exchange information and tips and experiences. You also want to feel supported when things are tough and it is so important to be understood by your sistas!! If you don’t have access to a physical group, try to find one online. There are plenty of amazing mama groups out there giving lots of love, support sharing great survival techniques and info:)
4. Give yourself lots of self-love and self-care.
Mama-hood is maybe the most amazing, intense and life changing event in our lives and the toughest job ever, so remember to give yourself some love and take time for yourself. (We all know it is close to impossible for many of us) but even a 5 min grounding meditation when baby is asleep will do wonders. And let alone a yoga class if you can manage.
5. We all make mistakes!
And please never be too hard on yourself for making mistakes. We all make them and it’s part of the human experience. That doesn’t mean we should repeat them, but they are there as little reminders to help us to grow. So make sure you acknowledge them, think about how you can work on them to become better. And give yourself a pat on the shoulder for being aware and wanting to change. Forgive yourself and let them go!
Always remember that we all go through ups and downs, worries, fears and challenges. The key is how we show up to handle them and manage our emotions in these moments. I choose to see children being our best teachers. At the end of the day our kids also learn from us and it’s so important to give them our best selves and make sure we raise happy humans while staying sane!